1. and negligence are two factors that

1.  Introduction

  Cohabitation
is a sexual relationship between a woman and a man who live together before
marriage. They live in the same roof, sleep on the same bed. Cohabitors act as
if they are spouses. Unconstraint and negligence are two factors that urge
these couples to tend to cohabit (Waite, 2000). In fact, living together before
marriage becomes more and more common in many countries around the world.
According to The National Institute of
Child Health and Human Development in Washington, DC, there were more than half
(54%) of couples prioring to cohabit before going to a wedding in the period
from 1990 to 1994. Meanwhile, a statistic at Open Hanoi
University in Vietnam, in 2010 showed that a third of students cohabited before
marriage (Hoai Vu, 2014). This is
considered as a double-edged sword. Moreover, the negative effects of
cohabitation seem to weigh more than positive ones, especially to women. Thus,
this research with the aim at raising awareness before deciding on cohabiting
will provide facts and discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

2.
Discussion of findings       

2.1. Recent situation of
cohabitation

  
These days, many people are surprised by numbers referring
the rise of cohabitation. Data
from Bumpass and Sweet, 1989; Bumpass and Lu, 2000; Kennedy and Bumpass,
2008; and the 2006-2010 National Survey of Family
Growth illustrated the percentage
of American women ages 19-44 who have
ever cohabited from 1987 to
2010. The interviewees are decided into five age groups (19-24, 25-29, 30-34,
35-39, and 40-44). The result of the research showed that cohabitation was most
popular to women ages 30-34 over the two decades. In 1987, 40 percent of them
prioritized to live with their partners before marriage. The figure rose
sharply to 73% in the period from 2009 to 2010. Surprisingly, women ages 40-44
were the cohort having the fastest growth percentage with 195 percent in
choosing cohabitation. In contrast, the proportion in the 19-24 age group increased
most slowly with nearly a third (31%) trich ngu?n

Whereas, The
Census Bureau in the United States reported that two-thirds of young people
spend time on staying with their partners while dating. Another statistic
showed by The New York Times was about 450,000. It referred the number of
Americans moving to live with their lovers before matrimony in 1960. Today, the
figure climbs to 7,5 million people. Generally, the percentage of unmarried
adults cohabiting has grown substantially by 1,500 percent over 50 years. The
period these couples living together before marriage has also increased from 13
months in 1995 to 22 months at the present (DiDonato, 2014). After that, 32
percent of those people were going on cohabiting, 40 percent of cohabitors had
made a decision to take their partners in marriage, and 27 percent of them had
broken up ( Copen et al.,2013).

2.2. Advantages of cohabitation

  
In the past, cohabitation was considered as an unusual phenomenon.
However, it becomes a familiar concept to many couples now. It is because that
cohabitation brings several advantages to them. When living together, couples
have more time to each other. They can meet their partners everyday. Cohabitors
have chances to spend evenings together in the romantic atmosphere. Their life
seems to be sweeter. Moreover, they can make contribution to household chores
together. It is so wonderful to cook delicious meals, clean house with partner.
Take the case of an American girl as an example. She moved to live with her
boyfriend- Mike DiPasquale while dating.They shared household duties. She did
shopping, prepared repasts, and cleared out dishwasher whereas her boyfriend
did washing-up, washed clothes, cleaned bed, and disposed of garbage (Jayapril,
2012). Another benefit of living together before marriage is financial issue.
Couples can share expenditures to each other. The rent and energy bills will be
able to be seperated (Goodman, 2017). This means that financial burdens are
diminished, and they can save more money. The extra money can be spent on
traveling, shopping, planning for a nuptial, and so on. Cohabitation also
offers a run family experience (Goodman, 2017). Women and man will know how to
manage their life with partners, and how to split responsibilities not only in
finance but also in housework. Moving in together also helps them allocate
salaries and budgets in a manner that both of them are comfortable with, which
continues into their marriage. Thanks to it, they have family problem-solving
skills which make  myth of 
monogamy more harmonious. Another biggest advantages of
cohabitation is getting to know  each 
other. Most people believe that men or women just really understand  the other 
if  they live together in the same
house. People can conceal their real characteristic and personality once their
partners are around them. When cohabiting, they will able to have a true view
and appreciate exactly to their roommate. In other word, cohabitors understand
each other much more than people who do not cohabit before marriage. They know
that their partners’ habits are good or bad. Couples can compare lifestyle
between them. They see whether they are compatible with one another or not.
They can have similarities in most habits and hobbies. Nevertheless, several
couples realize that they have nothing in common when living together. Cohabitation
also provides basis to make a decision whether go to marriage. If  living with partners happens harmoniously, get on well with each
other

 

couples can be confident to walk down
the aisle with their lovers, and build a happy home.  In contrast, if conflicts occurred frequently,
they should consider a married commitment carefully. They need to determine
whether their partner is an ideal spouse in the future. Cohabitors can give a
correct answer to the question: “Do I want to live with her/him during my
life?”.

2.3. Disadvantages of cohabitation

 
 In spite of these above
advantages, it is undeniable that cohabitation
brings hidden risks in many aspects. The first drawback is losing the enjoyment
in marriage. People who have ever cohabited will not feel delight to the
honeymoon. When a girl/boy moves to live with someone, she/he will understand
their partner’s character, hobbies, habits, and actions. Thus, the while
after  wedding will not be interesting to
couples. In addition, cohabitors are showed to have low emotional well-being. Thinking
about breaking up in love seems to be the main factor that causes the
psychological situation. Couples who live together before marriage are believed
to feel more miserable and unhappy with their current life (Waite, 2000). They
are worried that their relationship is not stable, and they will walk away on someday.
Another disadvantage of cohabitation is that women are often unfavorable in
terms of doing housework when living with men. The Scott South and Glenna
Spilze’s research reports that the time women do household chores is much more
than men do. The men have to spend about ten hours less on domestic duties than
women. Compare to living lonely or with the same gender people, cohabiting with
men makes women do more housework (Waite, 2000). The other downside of living
together is making a gap with people in several social organizations,
especially religion. Cohabitation  is not
supported and encouraged by most religions. Cohabitors can not be allowed to
involve in the communities. As a consequence, people who live together while
dating take part in less religion activities (Waite, 2000). Moreover,
cohabitation is not a permanent relationship. Cohabitors are less likely to
enter a married life. If it is easy for them to live together before marriage,
their relationship is also easy to break up. According to studies, only a half
of cohabitors get married after ending their cohabition (Canham, 2017). There
is no legal commitment to constrain those people to any responsibilities. They
can be fed up with their partner, and do not want to continue their life with
her/him. Women consider living together while having no married commitment as a
progress to go to a wedding. Whereas, men just think it as a method to evaluate
their relationship or delay marriage (Jayapril, 2012). Cohabitation also brings
a serious impact which is domestic violence. A American professor, Linda J.
Waite, studied the 1987/88 National Survey of Families and Households. Her
analysis revealed that cohabitors are twice as likely as married couples to
cope with violent activities. 16 percent of women who live with their boyfriend
before marriage have to face to domestic violence. Conflicts and arguments can
change from speeches to physical action. They can be hit, thrown, slapped, or
insulted. Meanwhile, just 8 percent of women who are married bear the problem.
Cohabitors are often very young and even have low education level, so it is
difficult for them to control their violence. Another negative impact of
cohabitation is an increase in rate of divorce. Cohabitors’ point of view seems
to be varied after living together before marriage. They can less co-operate
(Waite, 2000). Thus, couples who have ever cohabited are easier to put an end
to their married commitment.

3. Conclusion

  
In conclusion, no one can say for sure that cohabiting is good or bad. Some
people believe that it is a step for young adults to go to a wedding. Some
others criticize the life style because of its drawbacks. Couples should
consider carefully the issue before cohabiting.